all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
