Ambien. No doubt about it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
