Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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