three words: i give head
three words: not that well
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
