this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
