you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
