just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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