did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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