its not stalking. its research.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
