I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
