Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
