I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
