hell yes lets make some ravioli
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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