I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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