my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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