When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
