so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
