well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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