there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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