it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
