do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
it's great music for shaving your balls
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
