i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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