once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
