I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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