true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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