Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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