I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Randomize
