Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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