Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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