So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
