The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
