I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
