one might say we're banned from that church
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
