If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
