fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
