That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
