i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
