people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
