I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
