I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
