Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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