Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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