after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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