what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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