Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just forgot I was standing up.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
there is glitter all over my balls
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
