Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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