they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It was a blind-side dick pic.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
