Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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