so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
