we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Oh god it's open bar.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize