508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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